“How hard can life be? This is Malaysia! You go to school, you graduate, you get a job, and you live your life. It’s not like we are in a third world country like ****, or a war torn country like *****. Malaysia… prosperous and peaceful and it is a developing country! What I want is just happiness. That is the only thing I am chasing right now. How hard can it be?”
Whoa… that, coming from a friend whom I had not met for more than a year. I was just thinking… if the beautiful South China Sea had failed to appease him that afternoon, I didn’t think anything would… alas, I am a mere mortal… Hmmm… plus I am not the best person in the department of consoling others even though I am quite a good listener… and boy, was I confused! At the beginning of it I thought he was all fired up to demonstrate his patriotism towards the Motherland…
He was angry and it seemed that I kind of added salt to injury, unknowingly (you’ll figure that out later!)… So, I listened, listen and will continue to listen to him (and others, too), talking, sharing, venting– for as long as the friendship lasts.
I listen and automatically most would get compartmentalized and labeled accordingly in my brain… I must say I do have quite a good memory when friends are involved. It can be flattering at times when I remember their preference (if their tastes in food remain unchanged) and details about their children. It also has its drawbacks… like quoting them word for word when I find them doing just the opposite…
“Did I say all that?”
“Seriously, was I that shallow?”
“Now I feel like flushing my face down the toilet!”
I quote, I remind and I ask the reason(s) for the change(s); to understand as well to unconsciously update the data stored in my brain. Hehehe…
We ought to be aware of our own changes. We should realize that we are not the same individuals as we were a few minutes ago. Our priorities, lifestyle, aspirations, likes and dislikes change over time and they can change in a week, month, year, 10, 20, 30, 40 years… The propensity to change is endlessly volatile depending on each individual’s episodes in life. It is a waste of time and energy to deny the fact that we were once ‘that foolish’, ‘that arrogant’, or ‘that carefree’. It is okay. Life goes on and we have to move on. Have a good laugh, modify, improve and move on. Life is too short to wallow in self pity…
We have to learn to accept. We all made mistakes. The angry and hurtful words we uttered in the heat of moment… The stupid pranks we pulled when we were at school. The rambutans we snatched when the school bus drove past the orchard in Semambu… That was then. We learnt from all those incidents, we apologized and we tried our best to do a lot of good to make up for the stupid things we had done in the distant past. Hehehe… (Sorry, they are drawn from my own archive.)
Maybe we had made the wrong choices in our lives and we are stuck in a loveless marriage… What good can endless harping on the “what if” scenarios bring? Maybe we feel suffocated in a 9 to 5 job that deprive us of many other interesting and glamorous options in life. Are we always going to blame others– our parents, family, friends, spouse, or even the government for the path that we had charted ourselves?
“Did someone put a gun to your head when you come to that decision?”
“I rest my case.”
Make peace with our own self. There is always room for us to accept the realities of what was/were. (It was our wish, to start with anyway!)
Bridge the gap. There is always room for us to swallow our egos and just apologize. (Apologizing has never been written as the Cause Of Death.)
Decide. Discard? Continue? KIV? There is always room for continuous improvement regardless of the decision. (It ain’t over til it’s over, okay?)
Make known to all those directly involved. There is always room for negotiations and second chances.
Do the right thing. Time definitely heals all wounds. Forgive and forget (for a more sound and restful sleep at nights).
Make it official. There is always room and opportunity to respect others. (The other party, Tok Kadi, the priest, or the boss has other matters to attend to!)
Have faith. Seek help from The Almighty for the things that are beyond our control—to work out perfectly for everyone involved. (Ask and you shall receive.)
Move on, what else is there? Chart your own path in your new unwritten book and before you do, think carefully and plan well.
There will always be plenty of alternatives to choose from. Free your mind and trust in what you believe in (you are your own best friend—AMC style). Be with whom you want to be with, if yourself/he/she makes you happy. Do the things that make you happy (within the limits of the law of the land, okay?)!
Live life to the fullest and enjoy the good things that life has to offer!
Merdekakan Hati, &
Merdekakan Jiwa Kita!
In the spirit of Malaysia’s Independence Day,
“Live Long and Prosper fellow Malaysians!”
p/s: If Happiness is what you are after, why chase after it? Attract Happiness the AMC style! Hehehe…