Are you sure you are going to be okay?
It’s for a month. What will you do?
What about food?
Hehehe… The usual questions whenever she is leaving for a holiday… I used to get upset by them. Oh… her endless and unnecessary worry about my well being whenever she is leaving me behind for her trips! I used to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Honestly, I still secretly do but now I know– it is the thing that all mothers do. Now I just smile and reassure her that I am going to be okay – complete with a list of promises of the things I will and will not (maybe) do! (It’s like swearing in for office after winning an election. Hehehe…)
What is the big fuss about being alone? Is there anyone out there who has never been alone at any point in his/her life? I believe that there is none who can truly say he/she has never… So, what is the big deal?
The Khan’s Friends:
“What are you buying? Patin*? Sembilang*? Nany! Mummy’s not around, eh? No… you don’t have to cook. Have dinner at my place, okay?”
“Bread, eggs, tuna and milk, only? Mummy’s away? Are you okay? I’ll fetch you for breakfast and after dinner I’ll drive you home. No class or meetings tomorrow, right?”
— and I once thought mothers only worry about their own off springs! Yes, all mothers are the same and they have so much love that they extend their motherly love to others, too! There is just no escaping them… Some might think that the scenarios are embarrassing and degrading for someone my age, but now I have learnt to enjoy the love and attention that I receive from them. I have learnt neither to resist nor decline the invitations because over the years, I have run out of creative excuses. I am now resigned to just embracing the experience wholeheartedly. (It is easier than inventing excuses, plus they are fantastic cooks!)
“What do you do, alone in the house?”
“Don’t you get bored?”
“Surely you get lonely?”
“Aren’t you scared?”
I think there seems to be a misinterpretation or misunderstanding of the words ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ judging from the questions posed. The words ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ seem to be synonymous in the minds of many… Sigh…
Loosely defined according to this context,
Alone : (adjective or adverb) of having no one else present or on one’s own
Lonely : (adjective) of being sad because one has no friends or company
My annual situation is that of the former, where there is devoid of any negative meanings to the word. To me the meaning implies a neutral physical state. Yes, I can be alone and I surely can be happy. I can do a lot of exciting stuff on my own like reading, gardening, hiking, cooking and eating the dishes that I only enjoy, and enjoying my own company… among other things.
Whereas ‘lonely’, is rather abstract which depicts one’s mental state. First thought to my head: Self pity. Errr… someone else, perhaps? It is difficult to be happy when one is lonely. To be alone and lonely is worse but comprehensible but to feel lonely in a sea of people? That, to me is futile! It is different when one is alone with one’s thought. Of which it can be very interesting…
Thus the difference is the state one is in; physical or mental. Do take note. Both situations are indeed the outcome of one’s own request and it would then manifest into a personal choice. One chooses to be alone or lonely or both! Hehehe…
At times, I choose to be alone; without people I know or technology (phone, internet connection, etc.). To be one with nature and to enjoy one’s own company. It is a luxury that few can afford unless one wills it to be as such. It is challenging especially now when we are living in a world full of technological wonders with endless distractions.
To be ‘alone‘, seems luxurious yet an imperative necessity. It is to recharge ourselves — to reflect on our past actions, modify our own misconceptions and chart our next course. It is the time to clean up, defrag and reboot our thought system. What better time than to do it but now, at the end of the year, eh? Once our system is up and running efficiently again, we can surely embrace all the good things that life has to offer. (faintly 2017 is knocking…)
The next time we hear someone is home alone or travelling alone, let him/her be. It is his/her personal choice and I bet he/she is having a great time having meaningful conversations with his/her own self! Laughing at his/her own past actions/reactions and learning more about himself/herself!
“Just let her be. She is going to be okay, going off on her own or staying home alone. Just give her some time alone in order for her to keep her sanity.”
-Advice given by my doctor to my parents, pre AMC/Platinum days. Thank you Dr. Zaffa! You are one of the few who truly understands me!
There is nothing to fear about being alone or spending time alone. In solitude, one discovers more about oneself and hence deepens and strengthens one’s love towards the Creator for bestowing wonderful gifts to us.
Just give solitude a try, you might enjoy it!
Enjoying my Solitude,
p/s: Difficulty in reaching me at times? Try telepathy– the easiest and fastest method, has the widest coverage and unlimited data plan plus it’s free! Anytime & Anywhere!
*patin: pangasius sutch