Money Made Me Do It!

In a galaxy far, far away there is a place called The State… where no one has gone before… A partial account when Time stood still… there!

The Judge:

We are here today to witness the proceeding of the case between The State against Money. It has now come to our attention that both parties can no longer resolve their differences and have decided to take the matter to this court. We will hear both parties, state their cases and You, the intelligent people of The State shall be the judge and decide on the matter. Today, I am here to ensure the proceedings are according to the Constitution and the Rule of Law of our land. We shall now begin!

The State:

Thank you, your Honour. Let us begin by refreshing our minds on the issue at hand by citing a few examples:

Money does not buy happiness.

Money is not everything.

Why be rich only to die lonely and miserable?

Money does not guarantee a place in Heaven.

Money is the root of all evil.

The list is endless, your Honour and we think everyone is familiar with the clichés in reference to the defendant. We believe that all the crimes and bad behavior inherent in our good state today is solely because of the defendant. We would not be here today if there is even a shadow of doubt that the defendant is innocent and contributes positively to our good State.

Let me elaborate…

When someone is terminally ill, it is because of Money. Either the lack of it or even the excess of it contributes to the disruption of the person’s well being; physically, emotionally and mentally.

When someone is rude, Money is the issue. Here, Money plays a role in influencing individuals to act as they please when they possess an excess of it.

When someone is murdered, Money is usually the motive. This, your Honour and the good people of The State, needs no elaboration as cases like this is plenty in our State Law Archive.

When someone is charged with corruption, it is the lure of Money that is too great to resist! Please refer to recent cases that are still under investigations by our law enforcement agencies, awaiting trials by this court.

As to not waste the court’s time, we leave out cases pertaining to robberies, kidnappings, and fraud; among others, as we think they are self evident for The People to assess for themselves.

In summary, The People believe that if it is not for the defendant; our State will be a better place, full of economic potentials. It is in the interest of The State that we should punish the defendant accordingly and banish Money, in a faraway galaxy. Without Money to influence the hearts and minds of the people, The State will be rid of all the evils and the sins of the galaxy. The State will be a more competitive destination not only for holidays but also for foreign investments and Utopia-like life experience. Only then the people of The State will live a life of pure spirituality, serenity, longevity and prosperity.

Thank you.

The Judge:

The defendant, it is your turn to state your arguments.

Money, The Defendant:

Your Honour and The People of The State…

 What is so wrong with me that everyone keep blaming me for everything? It is unfair. I have always been accused of all the crimes that I did not, do not and will never commit. I have also been discriminated against, hated and humiliated for a very long time and I feel that all these should stop, starting from today.

I agree with The State that I cannot buy happiness but do stop and reflect, my learned friends, that I can also be used as a means to bring joy and happiness to others. Making ourselves happy is satisfying but making others happy is more, gratifying, is it not? Imagine if you have plenty of me… Is it not better for those around you, especially your loved ones? To be able to provide the best of things that your loved ones needs without having to worry about household budget cuts for next month? A lightweight wheelchair for your aged parent is always more convenient and easier to maneuver than the hospital-like steel ones, right?  My learned friends… do think bigger and you know what I really mean…

I am merely a creation, and hence I do not possess the power to guarantee anyone a place in Heaven. I sincerely believe with a little creativity, if I am put to good use, I am able to help The People of The State to spread goodness around them and maybe ease their path to righteousness if that is what they strive for. It is good for us, that the quota to the Holy Land has been increased because that would mean that there will be a lot more people you can help sponsor their pilgrimage… or there will be no more social and health issues in The State; for you, The People, are able help The State in providing proper homes to the homeless, better infrastructures for the rural areas, food and medication for the needy. The list is also, endless. It would be lovely if it all came to be, right? That will also be like the Utopia-like lifestyle as mentioned by The State…

Your Honour and The People of The State…

Let me remind you that I am merely pieces of paper. A collection of printed paper with various denominations use as a legal tender sanctioned by The State to ease the lives living on this blessed land. I have no power whatsoever and hence I am incapable of making anyone do anything, at all; let alone of all the crimes you had accused me of. I am neutral; devoid of either a heart or a powerful Mind, like yours. I am just a tool; a means to an end. I do not influence, I do not heal, I do not love nor do I hate and I do not kill! If you let me be, I will always be in this state… If you pick me up and decide for yourself to put me to good use, the outcome will definitely be in your favour. If you decide to invest me in a shady syariah non-compliant pyramid scheme, the risk is all yours.

Your Honour and The People of The State…

Let me remind you…

Your health issues are solely yours.

If you decide to be rude, it is your decision.

I am incapable of stabbing, shooting or even poisoning anyone.

Luring? Seducing? Hehehe… Oh, please!

In defense, let me reiterate that I am pieces of paper; a ‘tool’ to be used by the best creation of The Almighty. The creation who had been bestowed the greatest gift of all… The Mind. It is you, The People of The State who have the REAL power in thinking and deciding on what to do when you have ‘me’ in your hands. I sincerely hope that you get more creative in using ‘me’ and see me in a more positive light. I trust your judgment will be in my favour.

With that, I thank you!

… The court then went on recess. I was unable to sit till the end due to limited oxygen supply…

May all of us Live Long & Prosper!

–Khairany

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